12 of the most awkward office situations

When you work in an office, you will inevitably find yourself faced with numerous awkward situations.

This is because people are people, and we are all incredibly awkward. We fumble, we misspeak, we stutter, and we try our hardest to understand social norms all around the world, but just end up more confused than ever (No? Just me? Okay then.)

Some of these situations will be awkward for you, while some will be awkward for the other person, but the reason they are so damn awkward is because no one talks about it. Especially in the office. No one talks about all the awkward.

So, I've come to the rescue with a list of uncomfortable office situations to remind you that you are not alone, my awkward friend. These embarrassing happenings affect all of us everyday (well, perhaps with the exception of my last point.)

1. When you're doing an introduction and you completely forget the other person's name.  

You're totally allowed to hate your brain in these moments, because while it has no problem remembering the useless jingle of a TV ad that used to play when you were a child, it's totally incapable of recalling the name of the person who you just met.

And then someone else comes along, and you're all, "Oh hello, Jonathan, this is...um ... well, we just met..."

2. When you have problems with technology - the printer, your PC, the office microwave - and then it suddenly works properly for someone else.

3. Or even better, when you have problems with conference calls. 

"Hello, Mary. Yes, it's me. Can you hear me? Hello? Hello? Yes, I can hear you! Oh, I think we've lost Mary, let's carry on without her. Is that okay, Jim? Oh, wait. Mary? MARY. There you are! Okay, what was I saying? So let's talk about next year's Q1 projections - Mary can you fill us in on... Mary? Oh, damn. We've lost her again, Jim."

4. When someone else eats your food in the office fridge and you totally know who did it but you don't want to shame them out. 

Even worse is when you then realise your food is missing because you actually already ate it (guilty as charged) but you have to keep up the pretense of being appalled by the greedy guts who totally ate your food because you've made such a big deal about it.

5. When you accidentally fall asleep at your desk

6. When someone tells you you're supposed to present something at a meeting, but they only tell you two minutes before. 

A friend of mine recently had this happen to her. She was told she would have to "say a few words" at a meeting she attended, and so had a few bullet points knocking around in her head and on a scrappy piece of paper.

What she didn't know is that every single one of her colleagues also had to "say a few words", except they had PowerPoint presentations and slideshows, and had basically been preparing for a couple of days. Hashtag awkward.

7. When you see someone down a long hallway, and they're further away than you thought. 

8. When you need to go, but then someone else enters the stall next to yours.

Office toilet etiquette is just too awkward to even talk about, so I'll just leave it at that.

9. When after a meeting you go in for a handshake at the same time as someone else and you all do a strange little handshake dance and it's awkward as hell.

10. Or, when you say goodbye after a meeting and then realise you're both walking in the same direction. 

I'm implementing a rule here. The person who set up the meeting is responsible for diffusing the awkwardness by suddenly "remembering" they have to "be somewhere else" which is in the opposite direction. Even if you just walk around the corner and fiddle on your phone for a while until the other person is gone, just please, walk in the other direction.

11. When you end up stuck in the lift with someone you don't like. Or your boss. Or that employee you just yelled at and/or fired.

12. And finally, when you ask a female colleague when she's due, and she informs you with hate in her eyes that she's not actually pregnant.

I'm putting this here because it's seriously the most awkward thing I've ever encountered. Ever.

I was on a flight from Auckland to Sydney on a work-related trip, when the air stewardess I'd been chatting to for five minutes asked me when I was due. "Due for what?" I asked, completely confused.

"Your baby!" she exlaimed, smiling broadly. "When is your baby due?" And then she pointed to my stomach.

My stomach, by the way, was not full of child. It was full of dim sum. And beer. And probably a cheeky chocolate bar I ate in the boarding lounge. I was 23 and I totally didn't know how to respond. In my panic, I was more worried about embarrassing her by admitting I wasn't pregnant then I was about the fact that I had eaten so much I clearly looked pregnant. So, I lied.

"Oh! Silly me. Baby brain, you know. I'm due in about six months," I replied, my hand rested on my stomach like I was cradling my unborn child.

She smiled, satisfied with my answer, congratulated me, and walked off. I immediately turned 17 different shades of red and covered my tummy with the blanket. I then think I also asked for multiple small bottles of wine, which no doubt appalled everyone around me who now thought I was pregnant.

Basic rule of thumb: If she doesn't offer up information about her pregnancy, don't assume she is pregnant.

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