Tell the truth without upsetting your staff

Seemingly inconspicuous words such as “always”, "never" and “you” could be damaging your relationships at work.

According to a report by Leadership IQ, there are three trigger words we’re guilty of that can cause office relationships to become strained.

Words such as “never” and “always” cause people to immediately go on the defense, while “you” sounds like a direct attack when used to give negative feedback.

So how do you make sure your words are not perceived as weapons by your peers?

Rather than pointing fingers when giving feedback, leaders should remain objective and leave out emotions. Instead present the facts and open an avenue for dialogue, not debate.

It’s also important feedback is given in a timely matter, and should not be boxed in only to be dug up at a later time.

“When we localise these conversations as things happen, as mistakes and such are made, they become very small conversations that tend to be easier to have and that produce a lot less negative reaction,” Mark Murphy, CEO of Leadership IQ, said.

However, if emotions are running high, it may be a better idea to take a breather to allow both parties to cool off before approaching the problem with a clearer head.

“One technique that is really useful is the H.A.L.T. approach. If you’re Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired, postpone the meeting for 15 minutes, or however long you need,” Murphy said.

Leaders also have to be clear in their feedback and avoid adjectives that are vague or provide no context. For example, using labels such as “careless” or “inefficient” do not explain what exactly the employee has done wrong nor provide opportunities for improvement.