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Work-love balance

I’ve been thinking a lot about workplace relationships lately, after talking to a friend who is considering pursuing a romantic relationship with a colleague.

Our mutual friends had advised her against it, saying the risk was too high for things to turn sour if the relationship broke up. So she came to me, because I am somewhat of an advocate for office relationships (and, really, she was mostly looking for someone to validate her reasoning to go ahead with it anyway.)

You see, seven years ago I met my now husband at work. We were young, ambitious journalists in New Zealand, who started writing flirty emails to each other, which then progressed into the odd after-work drink, and eventually a full-blown relationship.

(Our affair also started thanks to a team-building exercise, too much alcohol, a night on the town, an incident with a ferry and a trip to the police station … but that’s another story.)

Even before we were an item, I was always surrounded by people whose relationships had blossomed at work. My grandparents met while working together as journalists (yes, it runs in the family), and a number of my closest friends met their now-husbands or wives in the office. My mother-in-law and her partner also met while working together – and these are all healthy, happy, loving relationships which left an impression on me.

To me, it makes sense. We spend most of our lives at work. More of us are single than ever before, and chances are that if you work in the same place, you already have similar interests and passions, and you probably already work the same hours.

The statistics more or less back me up, too. A 2013 study found 14% of office relationships end in marriage, while a CareerBuilder survey found 40% of employees had dated someone at work – and 17% enjoyed the experience so much they did it twice.

I have, however, seen a few office romances go bad. Funnily enough, they have almost all involved someone getting too close to the boss, which isn’t something I would ever recommend unless you are 100% happy with losing your job over it.

But, because my little story – thankfully – has a happy ending, my friend asked for my advice.

So, for all you romancers out there looking for love in the office, here are my tips to making it work:

Know your company’s policyAnd check your contract. If you run the risk of losing your job because you want to have a fling with Thomas in finance, then it may not be worth it.

Keep ALL the drama at homeThere is nothing worse than subjecting your colleagues to rants about how Mr Perfect actually can’t pick his towels up off the floor, or letting them overhear an argument in the office. Fighting at work is a big no, no.

And keep all the office talk at workAfter working together and dating for a year or so, my husband and I realised we talked about work way too much, and the dramas, stress and day-today was taking over our lives. After we instilled a “no work talk” policy when we were outside the office, things were much better.

Are you comfortable with losing your job?Ask yourself this question before you get involved with a colleague, because you may have to choose between a partner and the company you work with.

Don’t date your bossIt will never end well if you date someone more senior than you. The dynamics are doomed from the beginning, and a relationship needs to maintain some sort of equality.

For goodness sake, no PDA!Don’t kiss, or hug or even hand-hold in the office. Even if everyone knows you are a couple, it’s not professional and, really, it’s just annoying for everyone else.

Image: Shutterstock

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