You can't live without being in conflict with someone unless you're stranded on an island alone. Then again in due time, you might pick up a fight with the coconut tree that was conveniently in your way.

Conflicts eventually occur when there is a difference in needs, perceptions, power, values, feelings and emotions but if managed well, they can enhance and strengthen relationships. Nothing is ever all smiles and grins because we need disagreements to progress and innovate. We have to be honest, be open to new ideas even if it meant that they would be met with dissent. How else can we encourage the vigorous interaction of ideas?

Healthy conflicts need to be based on respect and should not be a matter of winning at all costs. Agree to disagree, express your ideas clearly and treat the differences in opinions as an indication of incomplete sharing of information. Keep asking questions until you understand one another and try to reach a consensus with mutual benefits. You have to discard the notion of getting the best deal for yourself and work on finding the best solution for both parties.

Conflicts are moments of truth and should not be the cause of chaos and resentment. Abolish those deficient views and learn to skillfully manage disagreements to build better decisions.

Tips to encourage meaningful conflicts

• 1. Reward, recognise and thank people who are willing to take a stand and support their position
• 2. Expect people to support their opinion with data and facts
• 3. If you experience disagreements, examine your own actions