When Patti Wood, a body language guru, is asked to assess non-verbal communications, chances are, she will be scrutinising a celebrity couple. Wood is well-known for her candid take on star couples like actors Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher and entertainers Beyoncé & Jay-Z and has been roped in by various media to help distinguish smitten duos from fakers.
Wood said that by "the way their bodies overlap (which) indicates extreme closeness" reveals that Moore & Kutcher are a couple in love, whereas Beyoncé & Jay-Z are revealed as a pair of fakers by "the way Beyoncé's hands fall helplessly at her sides indicating that she's ill at ease." Wood is adored by the American audience. She discoursed on friendship in Seventeen magazine and for The Star tabloid, she probed the body language of Survivor participants.
For many professionals, the ability to recognise and use positive non-verbal communications still feel like a tempting but elusive skill. So how do you develop really effective body language skills that will probably gain you favourable mention by others, and perhaps prevent yourself from committing faux pas?
Dean Foster, who runs a global cross-cultural training company, Dean Foster Associates, says that body language is a vital communication tool that breaks down barriers, especially in cross-cultural situations. Foster remembers an American businessman who after signing a deal with a Brazilian executive, gave what he thought was the universal ok-handsign - which, however, in Brazil is a vulgar gesture - to his new business partner. The mint-condition contract was torn up and the Brazilian stormed out of the room. "Different cultures will use various gestures to mean vastly different things, so do be careful," says Foster. "But universal gestures such as smiles and a formal and thoughtful demeanour can help make one feel at home."
Victor Chen, a senior human resources director in charge of Merck Sharp & Dohme's Asia Pacific offices, says that a big no-no when trying to impress a senior executive is to avoid eye contact. He recalls an informal meeting where a junior officer had her eyes fixed to the floor throughout the discussion, without realising it. "With such a non-verbal signal, I assumed that she was either intimidated or was ashamed of something she may have done," says Chen. "It's best to maintain eye-contact to project confidence and concentration." Other positive body language signals that leave a lasting impression on this senior HR's mind include minimal fidgeting, a firm handshake, warm smiles and appropriate nodding. "Body language is 60 percent of human communications, so make it count," adds Chen.
Finally, if you were to ever become a celebrity, make sure you and your partner are constantly glued to one another in public, so people won't think that your relationship is on the rocks. Smile for the camera please!
Body talk:
- Standing too close = Threatening
- Extended hand = Be my friend
- Folded arms = Come no closer
- Fidgeting = I'm bored
- Staring at you, unblinking = I've switched off, not hearing any more
- Extending legs towards you = I don't respect you much
- Running hand around back of neck = I am uncertain
- Making copious notes, avoiding eye contact = Sign of indecision
- Intense, non-stop questioning = Struggling to remain interested
- Hands deep in pockets = I'm not paying a penny
Source: John Bittleston, author, The Book of Business Communications Checklists
