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Early-bird tickets are still available.
There are bad employees and then there are these guys.
Social media site Reddit recently asked its members about the “stupidest things you have had to fire someone for”.
There were common “traits” including a penchant for watching pornographic material at work, turning up to the office drunk or high, and theft.
Here are 10 of our favourites:
1. “This guy always tried to hide at work to avoid working.
One day I was looking for him and I stepped into the bathroom. I notice a shoe print on the back of the toilet, and I look up and one of the ceiling tiles is pushed a little to the side.
I climb up there, and this mother f****r is hiding in the ceiling.”
2. “Had an employee show everyone, every other employee and every customer his really really big pocket knife. He always follows his big reveal with a smug: ‘Largest one allowed by law!’. After being repeatedly told to knock it off (we worked at help desk for crying out loud!) I had to can him.”
3. “Guy who worked in the mail room figured he could score a new laptop by ordering one in the CEO’s name and forging a purchase order. Someone busted him before the laptop even arrived.”
4. “There was one time I had to fire someone because I sent him out on a job that would only take 2-3 hours to complete. Before he left, he mentioned to the receptionist that he was going to make it last all day. She mentioned it to me, and sure enough, he returned over 8 hours later.
Being dishonest with a client’s money is not something I was going to tolerate.”
5. “My dad had to fire someone who stole clothes and shoes from our store and wore them to work the next day.”
6. “1st day of new job, newbie told to sit in the lounge and read through the staff handbook, while doing this he updated his Facebook status to ‘I hate my new job’, I commented ‘Come in to my office’ – it went down hill from there.”
7. “My manager once fired a woman for sun tanning during lunch. She went out to her car, stripped to her underwear and laid on the hood/windshield to sun bathe – anyone looking out could see her. She didn’t think she was doing anything wrong since she was on her lunch break.”
8. “We had an employee who carefully crafted an email to a friend disparaging the company and his opinion of the poor prospects for the company stock. He then messed up and sent it to the entire company including the CEO, the board of directors, and the Chairman of the Board.
This turned out to be what we now call a CLM or Career Limiting Move.”
9. “I had an employee who was getting drunk on the job. I found him in a hallway, on the floor, wasted. He told me that he got bad headaches and the only cure was champagne on crushed ice.”
10. “One of the lifeguards was really hungover so he took a s*** in the pool so we didn’t have to open up for the day.”
Do you have any to add to this list?
All comments courtesy of Reddit.